I write only because so much grace has been extended to me, I can't keep silent, even though I don't want to relive it or even really talk about it. Praise the Lord everyone is ok, but I'm pretty sure my car is totaled. I was taking JJ to a birthday party. The babies were with me, but the 2 middles were at home thank God. It was my fault. I didn't see her until it was too late. I was turning left into a neighborhood. I don't know how I didn't see her, but I just didn't. I think maybe the hill cast a shadow and the position of the sun had a part. I had sunglasses on, her car was black. I think I was looking ahead of her at the top of the hill for oncoming cars. I don't know. When I saw her I knew she was going to hit me so I punched the gas to avoid JJ and Dawson getting hit head on, which worked but the impact was still hard and scary. She had no time to react, so she hit with full force going maybe 45-50 mph.
When the accident happened, Jesus made His presence known immediately and in so many ways. My JJ. If ever you have an emergency, I'm sorry for him, but I hope he is with you. He is a calm, soothing, rational, clear-headed, and strong person in an emergency situation. He immediately starts thinking about what needs to be done. My Vannah. After she calmed down and we were waiting for the police, I held her in my lap. All of a sudden, a heavy cloud of guilt fell over me and I broke into tears. Fire trucks, sirens, lights, crying mommy, strangers, a blaring horn from the other vehicle .... she had every reason to be afraid, nervous, confused, hysterical. But God put a song in her heart and she sang softly instead. "Jesus loves me, this I know ...." My Trinity family. One phone call to a friend and she was on switchboard duty, contacting 2 others nearby who showed up promptly to help wrangle my kids and clean out the car and take us home. Our pastor and friend came to our house after a full day of driving to and from Texas, just to see us face to face and pray with us and over us. The lady in the other vehicle. She came and held my hand and talked sweetly to my kids as we waited for police and fire. Highway patrol, Owasso Fire, Wrecker Service. All empathic. Our insurance company. USAA is so good to us. Period. I'm sure they have every reason to be callused and business-like, but they seem genuinely concerned and eager to help. I wonder if "servant's heart" is a requirement for a job there? My husband. I keep asking him to chew me out, but he just won't do it. He is the most gracious person I know. He just heaps grace upon grace on me. He takes care of all the details, he was on the phone with the insurance company as soon as we got home. He arranged the rental. He drove me to pick it up. Wouldn't it be so easy for him to say, "You were the one responsible, you get on the phone and handle it." But no. He takes care of me. I'm so thankful. Sick to my stomach about what happened and especially the what if's. But I thank God for all the ways that he showed up and ministered to me in the last 24 hours through people. He's real and He's here and He's willing and able to give grace in our time of need.
