He really hasn’t been gone that long in the grand scheme of
things. We always say, “It’s a drop in the bucket” regarding the chunk of time
he’s away on any given deployment. But still… he’s half a world away, and I
miss him so much it hurts sometimes. Life is just better when he’s here with me
and the kids. His mere presence at home releases the tension in my shoulders. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true! The confidence
I have in the depth of his love and care for us provides a strong underlying sense
of safety, a security blanket that relaxes the air around here. His steady, loving,
untiring commitment to us day in and day out signifies that he would fight to
the death to make sure we were taken care of, if that’s what it took. So far,
he hasn’t needed to fight for us… for now, I just miss my best friend. He’s coming back soon, and I eagerly
anticipate the day I can feel his arms wrapped tightly around me. The thought
of that future moment propels me forward with joy of heart through each day of
his absence. Keeping my head down, marching forward, taking each day as it
comes, not concerning myself with exact dates and times. Simply “soon” is good
enough for me. Keeping my chin up, enjoying life here, soaking up the privilege
of holding down the fort, keeping everything around here up and running, and being
mommy to the kiddos, friend and family to family and friends, and faithful and
loving wife in his absence.
This whole deployment experience has opened up a beautiful new
dimension for my spiritual perspective: Christ is coming back for me. Like, for
REAL. He’s just on a “drop in the bucket” deployment, but he’ll be back. And no
matter what happens while he’s there and I’m here, when he gets back he’ll take
care of it. His loving commitment day in and day out fuels my confidence that he’s
keeping his promise to fight for me (to the death and beyond!!) until at last
victory is won for good. The confidence I have in the hope of his return helps
me enjoy my role in this life, no matter what the circumstances are… and when
circumstances surrounding me get dark and worrisome, I just remember that it’ll
all be taken care of when he gets back. I’m giddy for the day I get to see him face
to face… but until then, I’ll keep my head down, plunging forward through the hard days, not
concerning myself with exact dates and times, and my chin up, soaking up the
sweet moments of this life until He comes back.
