Savannah and mascara

Grinning from ear to ear, she stumbled into the living room and handed me my mascara saying, "Oh! Eye!" Sadly, it looks as if she got her aim from her mother... as well as her coordination. 

On Ped Egg

JJ, picking up my ped egg and rubbing his foot with it: What's this for?

Me: If you don't know what is for, how do you know what to do with it?

JJ: Well, I saw "ped" written on the side, and ped means foot, so I just assumed...

Me: Look at you! I didn't know you knew what "ped" meant!

JJ: It's common knowledge, Mom. Everyone knows that.

Mom: Oh yeah? Vannah! What does "ped" mean?

Vannah (like, duh): My bobo!!

On bloody noses

JJ: Mom, you have a bloody nose.
Coleman: Mom, do NOT be pregnant.
Christian: Mom, you need to STOP asking God for patience.
Coleman: OMG, like, seriously.

Christian's letter to Santa, Age 7

Christian (age 7), on poopy diapers

Christian: Mom, Savannah's poopy!

Me (bathing Dawson): Ok, I'll get to her in just a few moments!

Christian: Mom! She's annoying me with her stink!

Coleman (Age 6), on taking showers

Me: You need to take a shower. You smell like a McDonald's playground.

Coleman: Mom. I don't need to take a shower. We don't sniff people at school.