All to Him I Owe

“Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe…”

The lyrics to this popular hymn are so very rich. But I confess. I have been a theological snob about this line in particular. I pick things apart sometimes, and draw unnecessary lines in the sand. It has taken a lot of repentance and faith to deal with the sin of defending the truth of Scripture out of pride, so I’ve wrestled with this one silently in my heart up until it recently dawned on me that maybe I’ve been looking at this ALL WRONG.

Maybe you just sing it, not really thinking that hard about it. More likely, the lyric simply reminds you that because of the gospel, you find joy in offering your life as a living sacrifice to Jesus… which is scriptural, and not a burden, and in which case it is entirely possible that I am WAY overthinking it.

But if you’re anything like me, “All to him I owe” makes you uneasy. Jesus paid it all, so now I owe Him? That can’t be true. Following this line of reasoning, I’m still in debt. I’ve got to pay him back with my life: my good deeds, my own righteousness. I have an obligation now to give him recompense for his death, burial, and resurrection on my behalf. And that’s not good news! That’s a heavy weight to bear! Like, really, really heavy! Jesus Paid It All. Period. Nothing do I owe. Isn’t that the whole point of the gospel?

But what if … just what if… “All to him I owe” refers to the credit due to Jesus for paying my debt in full? Jesus paid it ALL. I owe him all the credit for my righteouness. Whoa … now that’s good news. And it puts a super cool shift in perspective on the whole rest of the song, especially the next two lines. I don’t know the writer’s original intent, but I think I’ll go with that from now on, and sing my heart out with reckless abandon. My public apologies in advance to the folks in the row in front of me. 

1. I hear the Savior say,
   “Thy strength indeed is small;
   Child of weakness, watch and pray,
   Find in Me thine all in all.”
   • Refrain:
     Jesus paid it all,
     All to Him I owe;
     Sin had left a crimson stain,
     He washed it white as snow.
2. For nothing good have I
   Whereby Thy grace to claim;
   I’ll wash my garments white
   In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
3. And now complete in Him,
   My robe, His righteousness,
   Close sheltered ’neath His side,
   I am divinely blest.
4. Lord, now indeed I find
   Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
   Can change the leper’s spots
   And melt the heart of stone.
5. When from my dying bed
   My ransomed soul shall rise,
   “Jesus died my soul to save,”
   Shall rend the vaulted skies.
6. And when before the throne
   I stand in Him complete,
   I’ll lay my trophies down,
   All down at Jesus’ feet.

Something to chew on

If the Bible is true and if the biblical definition of sin is “disobeying God in thought, word or deed,” then first and foremost we must admit in humbleness of heart that we are ALL on level playing ground, none of us superior to another. None of us has any room to boast about the degree to which we live a godly life, for sin is not merely what we do, but who we ARE. We are in desperate need of the righteousness of Christ, the only perfect One, if we are to have any hope at all of being reconciled to a holy God.

One challenge we Christians face is that we live in a culture that does not define sin in the same way. In our country individuals generally can enjoy the freedom to do anything as long as it doesn’t harm someone else. As the old saying goes, “The freedom to swing my fist ends where the other guy’s nose begins.” Under the constitution, individuals are granted the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. As Americans, we have the constitutional “right” to indulge in many different perfectly legal sins, though as Christians living by God’s grace we choose to refrain. For example, if I think food makes me happy, then I have the constitutional right to eat myself into a coma. Is gluttony ok? No, and yet in our country there is no law against it because I’m not technically harming anyone else. If I think being lazy will make me happy, then I have the constitutional right to sit on my couch for as long as I want. Is sloth ok? No, and yet there is no law against it. Self-glorification, greed, and pride are all examples of perfectly “legal” sins, because they are not technically inflicting harm on someone else, and we would not expect nor advocate for laws to be enforced to prevent them. As long as I have the right to refrain from these things, I’m content.

So, same sex marriage is the hot topic of the day. Is it in the realm of possibility for Christians hold to our biblical view of marriage, while peacefully allowing the government to recognize same sex marriage? I know it can be difficult and confusing at times, but it is possible right?

Do I believe that same sex marriage is ok?  No.

Do I believe that same sex marriage messes with God’s natural order? Yes.

Do I believe that same sex marriage violates God’s intended picture of Christ and the Church? Yes.

Do I love my gay friends and family for who they are? Yes. They know I do.

Do I believe it’s necessary to impose my belief system on the rest of America even though many of them do not even claim to be Christians? No.

Do I believe I am somehow departing from the faith or condoning sin by not taking a stand against government recognition of same sex marriage? No.

Do I believe that the government should prevent same sex couples from the same government benefits that straight couples have? No.

Civil rights activists and religious fundamentalists are all up in each other’s grill about this issue. Sometimes I do fear the natural consequences on our country of legalizing same sex marriage, but I still think the root of the issue is being missed once again. When push comes to shove, we must remember that you can make a law and enforce it from a behavioral standpoint, but you can’t force anyone to personally adopt a belief system, ESPECIALLY one that claims to be a divine revelation. The problem on both sides of the coin (sinful indulgence vs. self-righteous pride) has always been and always will be, a matter of the heart. And hearts will NEVER be changed by political legislation.  Hearts are God’s jurisdiction and are changed by the power of the gospel. We can pray for, minister to, build relationships with, and share the gospel of Jesus with our gay friends, but it is NOT our responsibility to govern them or change them. It is not our job to make them adhere to our belief system or hold to our values. There is a fine line between showing Christian love and condoning sin, but if I’m going to err, I’ll err on the side of grace. As long as the good news is being proclaimed of Christ’s death on behalf of sinners and His victory over sin, death, and hell, I have hope for America… regardless of what is legal or not.

A Blessing in Disguise

Twas the middle of the night, early morning shall I say?

Not a creature was stirring, ‘cept the new babe where he lay.

Ugh. Why does everyone else get to sleep? All 4 of the others AND the clown emeritus of our family circus seem to sleep happily right through his hunger cries. I pry my eyes open several minutes after the fussiness coming from the baby monitor has worked its way into my dream. I fumble for my glasses and glance at the clock.

3:34

Hmph. I just KNEW he would sleep through the night tonight. For Pete’s sake, he’s 6 weeks old already! He’s practically full grown! Will I ever get a full night’s rest again? Grrrr…

So as not to disturb the slumbering bear beside me, I slip quietly out of bed, stumble quite gracefully up the stairs with my eyes still closed, and enter his room. I gently touch his back to let him know I’m here, and raise him up to my face. He smells so good, even after the Baby Magic has worn off. We settle into the glider and he latches.

During the chaos of the day I sat down to feed him at least 5 times, but I was always multitasking: settling an argument between the middle two boys, feeding a snack or reading a book to my toddler, checking Facebook, responding to texts, trying to pull teeth- er, I mean- have a conversation with my preteen about his day at school, barking orders, making checklists, grocery lists, thank you card lists, birthday party guest lists… you get the idea. Tonight, it’s just baby D and me. No distractions. No background noise. In the still of the night, the soft sound of his sweet gulps brings a smile to my heart, reminding me how cool it is to be the sole source of nutrition for this little guy. Without me, he doesn’t eat. I get to fill his tummy and satisfy his hunger. It is during this time that I collect him. In the dim light that peeks around half-closed bathroom door right outside his room, I study the curves of his cheeks, the lines in his palms, the thickness of his little fingers, the shape of his nose. I note that he tucks his thumbs inside his fists when he sleeps just like I do.  My eyes are heavy. I rest my head on the back of the glider and doze off to the sound of his swallows. Just minutes later, he pulls away. He squirms and grunts and fidgets and gripes until he gets in exactly the right position. Then all of a sudden, peaceful rest spreads across his sweet little face and he settles into a rhythmic breathing. Seconds later, you can count on his eyelids to flutter, and a gigantic smile to break out, showing those two heart-melting dimples. On a lucky night, I get a sneak peek of his laugh, as he gives a soft chuckle at whatever movie he's watching behind those lazy eyelids...

I listen closely to his breath, watch his chest rise and fall as I snuggle him close, and thank God for designing this blessing in disguise: this interrupted sleep cycle that has miraculously turned into quality time that I will never get to relive. This time that only I get to have with him, and really the only unplugged time I take with him. I press my lips to his forehead, lay him back in his crib, and run my hand tenderly over his baby soft hair. Pausing there at his bed before returning to mine, I realize. 3:34 has ironically just become one of my most favorite parts of the day.